The best advice is boring...

And I've been writing about it for decades

I’ve spent my morning going through my chaotic inbox, wrangling it into some sort of shape; answering the emails that were left neglected while I was away for the Hot Mess tour and then Easter. Man, I need to keep better control of my emails! I’ve vowed to myself after an hour of deleting unread messages (mostly marketing) that I need to do this cull at least weekly, ideally more often. Does anyone have any great tips on keeping your inbox manageable? (Also: If you have emailed me in the past 3 weeks and I have not responded – please feel free to send me a prod. It’s very likely I have had a meno brain-hiatus moment and seen it; intended to respond and then become distracted by something else). I’m so sorry. I’m not rude; just disorganized!

Anyway – in my inbox there were some interesting things. One was this piece this piece from the New York Times about US nutrition expert Marion Nestle. She is 88 now, and she’s been a force in the world of nutrition for decades. I was lucky enough to hear her speak when she came to NZ a few years back; she is known for her commentary on food politics and the influence of industry on health – something which could not be more relevant considering the bonkers things that are going on in the US right now around health system leadership and the non-ironically-named ‘Make America Healthy Again’ movement, now in control of billion-dollar healthcare budgets in that country.

Anyway: I was very struck by one of Nestle’s often-quoted pieces of advice:

“The best advice is boring.”

What she means by that is that actually – even though humans relentlessly pursue every bright shiny and new quick-fix-trend that comes along – the basics of healthy eating are things we all know: eat a varied diet of minimally processed foods. Don’t eat too much and limit the junk.

That goes for us in midlife as well; maybe even more so. Without getting the basics right: eating lots of different foods; eating lots of plants; not going crazy on processed foods and keeping an eye on portions – all the tweaking of macros and micros and timing of eating and fasting and taking creatine and counting grams of protein and spending on supplements is not going to make any difference to our health. As I bang on about in my books: it’s really important to zoom out and look at the big picture when it comes to eating, and not get caught up in obsessing over the details. The same could easily be said for exercise, too. Forget the quick fix. Pick something; do it consistently; work on progressing over time. It’s not exciting, but it does work long term.

If I think about it, I’ve spent a big chunk of my career sharing boring advice. I do like to think I’ve made it kind of interesting – but the fact is that most of the evidence-based advice I’ve ever written about is not dramatic. Because that’s not how science works. It’s very rare in science for one study to be published that means everything we thought before is wrong. It’s very rare for one study to mean that all previous studies on the subject are dismissed and chucked out. It just doesn’t happen that way. What does happen is that new research builds on the existing body of evidence.

The same goes for menopause research, by the way. People – even really popular doctors – who speak to individual studies (especially ones that are not systematic reviews or meta analyses) on social media as proof of something and especially as definitive proof – should be regarded with a healthy dose of skepticism. The best experts are those who acknowledge what they don’t know, and that they’re always learning; there’s always the possibility of new evidence emerging.

So I reckon ‘the best advice is boring’ is really worth repeating to ourselves, like a mantra, when we see something confusing or seemingly radical on social media. Is it boring? If so, it’s probably accurate.

Billionaires in space (but make it empowering)

Much has been written about the group of wealthy and privileged women who went on an eleven-minute trip to the edge of space in a cock-shaped rocket last week. I don’t need to do a round-up of the coverage, which has been overwhelmingly negative (and rightly so for the most tone-deaf thing from rich people we’ve seen lately, a category in which there is stiff competition).

This column from Marina Hyde in the Guardian was excellent and made me chuckle.

In it, she highlights the nonsense ‘girl power’ narratives expressed by the space tourists in their designer spacesuits and lash extensions – especially Katy Perry, who seems to be coming in for a lot of mocking – that this exercise in vanity was somehow empowering and helping other women.

I always thought space travel was futuristic, but this was the first time it came off as travelling back in time, in this case using their little capsule to take us back to the most ludicrous inanities of 2010s girlboss feminism.

There’s a good roundup of the space oddity commentary here at Stephanie Wood’s Substack, Vamp.

Peak vacuity, a wrap

Good listens

I’ve long been a listener of Malcolm Gladwell’s Revisionist History podcast – it’s one of the best-researched and most interesting things out there in the crowded podosphere. The latest eposide about RFK Junior is a story I had not heard before, and it is both fascinating and terrifying. The man does not believe in germ theory. Not joking.

I also love a good yarn of a pod – far more than the two-people-talking format. And the series Lucky Boy was a riveting tale. It tells the story of the child victim of a sexual predator 35 years ago at a London school. The twist here is that the victim was a teenage boy and the predator an adult woman. It’s a fascinating, sad and thought-provoking series that’s really well worth a listen.

The Hot Mess Tour was hot!

And not too messy! It was a whirlwind week – we know for next time (which will definitely be happening) to allow ourselves a teeny bit more time between dates so that we can actually experience the places we go (and also sleep a bit more).

It was, though, a total joy. It was so amazing to meet and share with so many fabulous women around Aotearoa - a huge thank you to all of you who came along to see us. We had a blast, and it felt really meaningful to be in rooms FULL of (99%) women finding community in this wild ride of a life stage. I hope we gave you lots to think about and laugh along with.

What you don’t see here is all the work that went on behind the scenes. Being on stage was the culmination of months of strategising, planning, networking and meeting; designing sets and music and branding and website and ticketing and merch and marketing and comms and sponsorship. And then a week of packing, unpacking, putting up sets, taking down sets, assembling lighting rigs and goodie bags, traveling, not sleeping and generally keeping our shit together. This was a team effort: the amazing Louise Giles who did an incredible job of masterminding and organising the whole endeavour; she’s the brains and creativity behind the design and branding and the vital marketing and logistics that kept the whole thing happening. The inimitable Petra Bagust brought her brilliant presenting and speaking skills that meant the events rocked along seamlessly, as well as her joie de vivre; her curiosity and empathy so every night had real heart. She and husband Hamish also spent many hours designing the sets and lighting in their living room.

I had a wee moment on the first night when I realised that what started as a casual conversation a year or so ago was actually happening! And that we three were the ones who made it happen. Don’t underestimate the power of a group of midlife women on a mission.

Hot Mess round 2 is coming… so watch this space!